Tractor Accident 1985

It had been a spring loved by frogs and mosquitoes everywhere. All farmers were behind in their fieldwork. My brother-in-law was more behind than most so my dad loaned him our colossal four-wheel drive Allis-Chalmers tractor with dual wheels as tall as Wilt Chamberlain, and our 32-foot disk.
The disk was so tall and wide that we had to take a six-mile detour when going to our other farm to find a bridge big enough.

I loved working at my sister's place. I did nothing but drive a tractor and listen to the radio. I was like a migrant farm worker; I did what I was told and nothing more. It wasn't my farm, I didn't think much, and there was no homework. My first year of college was in the books with a GPA of 3.81.

From home, I had brought the farmer's uniform—old jeans, flannel shirt and work boots. It had been a year since I wore them and it felt great to put those rags on again. They quickly re-molded to my body after sitting in a drawer for 10 months. I'd have to borrow a hat; even though at first it would feel strange, after I got the size adjusted with the plastic straps at the back, soon it'd feel fine and 'hat head' would take shape.

At 8 am on a day when Sesame Street visits the farm, I waved goodbye to my sister, shifted into first and followed her down the driveway. She was leading me to the nearest implement dealership that had the proper equipment to haul the tractor and disk back to our farm 80 miles away. It was the last thing I remember for 9 days.
The people on the rehab floor suggested to Mom that the family keep a journal of the events and people who visit.
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May 24, 1985 Date of accident (Friday)
Sunday May 26 (Mom writing)
Ice chips
Monday May 27 (Mom writing)
Opened eye more, Had some kind soft food—Brk, Choc pudding and ice cream-noon, Very restless Lifted feet—hands—rolled over, although tied in bed
6:00 pm – came into room and he was sitting up!
When told to open mouth, turn over, wiggle toes—does so. Doesn’t make much sound. Dr. took off head bandage.----------------------------------------

At my sister's house, I had been sleeping in an office/guestroom. On Thursday night, I moved into my 3-year-old niece's room. I had been writing a letter to my girlfriend when Erin drew a misshapen circle on the paper. I asked what it was.

"It's a piece of meat."

I don't remember waking up in that room, and I don't remember going downstairs, putting on the dusty jeans, or eating the salty fresh bacon that makes a guy want to drink milk. I didn't remember it, so it never happened.

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29 May (Dad Writing) Jennifer Hanes -- (Rehab) went over progression sheet with me -- not the most encouraging thing I have ever done--probably the least. The scenario seems to negate the possibility of full recovery.
Bad pm for me -- James coming along thou
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Dad showed more emotion on those two lines of text than I'd seen in 19 years, and more than I have seen since.

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May 30 (Mom writing) Said lots of words – repeats – but also asked “Are those my shoes?”-------------------------------------------

I thought I'd had a nightmare and had been magically transported to this place. When I noticed my clothes, I told my mom that I didn't want them there and told her to take them home. She didn't understand, but the person in the hospital bed is king. I didn't want all that stuff. I knew I wasn't going to be in there much longer. Once I had my dream and was transported back to Peggy's, the clothes would just complicate things. This was all temporary.

Thursday, June 6. I call this day my "Awakening". The doctor was in the room talking to Mom and Dad as if I wasn't there. How could he know that at that moment, I had returned from some kind of other-worldly existence? I was watching with the eyes of a newborn. It was a full-blown concussion. At least three more weeks in the hospital.

A feeling like I was opening a Christmas present welled up in my soul. I was in a hospital and I truly had had an accident. I was relieved; I didn't have to maintain this charade going through the motions, stumbling from hospital bed, to therapy, to dinner table all the while knowing that I was going to be swept out of there as soon as these idiots let me sleep long enough to have the dream that would take me back to my sister's place.

My excitement boiled over when realized that it was Thursday; a great day for television in 1985: Cheers, Hill Street Blues, and then David Letterman's Top 10 list. When the TV shows ended, the part of my brain that HADN'T been sucked away by the television wanted to listen to the radio.  The nurse's station on the floor let me borrow a radio. A Dilila-esque show of passionate dedications came as if she knew I was listening. The songs were from Seals and Crofts, Nisson, Air Supply, and Leo Sayer. I couldn't turn my mind off while lay in the bed thinking about my impending life of leisure, and butt danced until 4 am. Wow! Five weeks of no work, no studies, and relaxation, people paid to wait on me! Ooo-ra!